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THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS. RIGHT?
So let’s get something straight here and now. This the customer is always right horseshit is a myth created and perpetuated by corporate dickwarts designed to keep mostly minimum wage subservients indoctrinated with the company line so they’ll sell more shit. Period. Not only is the customer not always right, they are often – if not mostly – wrong, and the biggest troublemakers are actually empowered by the store to behave like spineless douche nozzles in the first place.
Big box corporate retail upper echelon decision-makers are some of the biggest wimps, pussies and losers this planet has ever produced. They are solely responsible for creating, nurturing and enforcing a culture whereby the lowest common denominators of society are encouraged to prey on those who deserve it the least, i.e. minimum wage hourly workers. In their brave new world of catering and caving in to the asswipes of the world who bitch the loudest, the lowest paid people on the food chain have to daily endure the abuse of sadistic morons who perpetually insist on their right to use expired coupons, return crap that has obviously been used, change prices to coincide with their particular budget and cave in to an endless list of other ridiculous and unrealistic demands. In the modern retail environment, any psychotic prick with an invisible chip on their shoulder is wholeheartedly invited to take as much as they want while simultaneously dictating the amount they’re willing to pay merely by raising their voice and insisting on speaking to the manager on duty whose balls have been effectively neutered by the fear of having the loudmouth dingleberry screaming at them elevating their psychosis to “corporate."
And by the way, these magical invisible midas-fairies at the ethereal all-consuming “corporate” are little more than underpaid soulless underbellies who long ago sold what was left of their consciences to the monthly bills they’ve burdened themselves with. How can some testicle drip sitting in an office half a country away come close to making an educated judgment on whether a particular situation that occurred at a particular time involving people he or she has never met in a state they’ve never visited before has any merit one way or another? The simple answer is…they can’t. And they aren’t fucking paid to. What they are paid to do is perpetuate the customer is always right empowerment memo by lending their low-rent ears to and sympathizing with any mediocre minimalist looking for a coupon or anything that can be acquired for nearly free.
Even though it employs and ultimately relies on you, the corporate entity is far from your friend and actually has branches built into it that exist solely to turn on you should you commit the one unforgivable cardinal sin of the service industry – letting an asshole escape your clutches without letting them continuing to be an asshole while you simultaneously validate their assholeishness. When some cunt-trickle plays the give me what I want no matter how unrealistic it may be card on your ass, you are cornered and better give in or risk the repercussions of having some semi-literate branch of your employer reign down holy whatthefuck on you.
When a customer attempts to return an obviously used item while pretending it’s new, the customer isn’t right. The customer is a thief and a fuckwad. When a customer insists on purchasing 30 items in the 10 items or less line, the customer isn’t right. The customer is an egocentric inflamed hemorrhoid with a challenged penis size. When a customer tries to personally blame you for something that you have no responsibility for – such as what certain crap costs or the way the store is merchandised – the customer isn’t right. The customer is a vacant cretin with a penchant for sadistic narcissism. When a customer threatens to take their business elsewhere because they can buy the same mediocre widget you’re selling for thirty cents less at a competitor’s store halfway across town, the customer may have the facts right – but they’re also a bully with way too much fucking time on their hands and in dire need of something resembling a life.
By encouraging a sense of entitlement among those who deserve it the least, the big box corporate retailer encourages the most unrealistic of expectations to undermine and permeate the culture of the store environment. If the buttmunches of the world know that they can liberally feel free to insist on – and receive – their most absurd, over-the-top demands by merely threatening to raise the volume of their complaining, then there is no legitimate recourse left for the hapless hourly sap who has to just stand there and take it. The losers of the world who are given carte blanche by the stores they “shop” in to freely abuse and humiliate the employees of those stores are actually the biggest cowards evolution has deemed to unleash thus far. Their abuse is little more than a byproduct of convenience. Removed from their pseudo-perches where they freely walk the tightrope of bitchery with the safety net of corporate entitlement to catch them on their way down, these chickenshits would no more have the balls to be confrontational on a neutral playing field than would a single Christian fundamentalist show up to protest at a gay pride parade. Do you think that for one minute these same discount soldiers would have the fortitude to walk up to you on the street and pick a fight for no good reason? Without the backing these upright-challenged mental midgets feel from the omnipotent invisible corporate hand, these spineless stalwarts would fall in line with the rest of humanity and either learn to behave like decent citizens or be castigated to the outer depths of I hope you die a slow and painful death where they surely belong.
If you take a swing at someone who you know can’t fight back, you’re not a warrior. You’re an opportunistic schmuck who in all likelihood got picked on as a kid and now everyone has to pay, dammit. Everyone has to pay.
The customer is encouraged by corporate greedmongers to find the most despicable internal place within themselves and go there with regularity. Consequently, the customer is tolerated by the very people who are ultimately paid to endure their seemingly never-ending penchant for cowardice disguised as thriftiness. But in the end, the customer is the furthest thing removed from always being right. Unless by right you mean padding your ridiculously undernourished ego with a healthy dose of fail.